GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As of this morning I've met and exceeded my weight loss goal.

My original goal was to get down to 150 lbs from a starting weight of 256.6 lbs, for a total of 106.6 lbs lost. I've now lost 107.4.

My goal going forward is to keep my weight between 148 lbs and 155 lbs, and to never let it exceed 155 no matter what. Never again. Never, NEVER again will I let myself look the way I used to look, feel the way I used to feel. NEVER. I want to savor this feeling, keep it, and remember how good it felt to finally be at goal.

So close, so close...

Only 4 tenths of a pound away from goal. Can't believe it.

I also kind of started a relationship with a new guy...I don't know where it will go but so far, so good. He can pick me up as if I weigh nothing and referred to me as a "tiny little thing". :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Another milestone reached!

Just passed the 40% mark today; since July 2008 I have lost 40% of my weight! I'm 3.6 pounds from goal and feeling good!

I think this plateau is busted!

After recovering from pneumonia my weight loss skidded to a halt and I bounced around between 157 and 159 lbs for almost a month.

Today I weighed in at 154.4, a total loss of 102.2 pounds from my high in July of 256.6 pounds. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Made it to the century mark!

My weight loss has slowed to a trickle since I recovered from pneumonia and I've also been extremely busy with work, but I am taking special time out to post this morning:

I have lost 100 pounds. WOW!

100 freaking pounds.

100 stinking pounds.

100 pounds.

I can't believe it!

Still stuck at 159

I've been good and I'm still stuck weighing in between 159 and 160. I've seen it as low as 158.6 and as high as 160.8 this week. It's PISSING ME OFF!

Plus the quitting smoking is not going well.

Grrrrrrr.

What's wrong with me?

No changes except...

I've been trying to get back into a good routine and it has not been easy; I am very sore from my lift class but I have kept forcing myself to keep going to the gym even though it's so HARD!

I haven't lost any weight this week either. :-(

Plus this weekend I have been VERY naughty with the smoking. I'm back to my old habits, and I have a date tomorrow with a guy who HATES cigarette smoke. Why do I bother?

Getting there...

It has been almost 2 weeks since I was diagnosed with pneumonia and I am on my second course of antibiotics. Thank god I'm off the Levaquin and can start working out again.

Today I weighed in at 160.2, but I attribute a lot of my recent weight loss to my illness. I have not worked out regularly in almost two weeks and I miss it. I did get on my stationary bike today for 20 minutes and it was pretty difficult to stick it out that long. Before I got sick, I was on it for 30 minutes at a time.

As for quitting smoking...I have not completely kicked the habit yet but I have cut down dramatically. I'm smoking maybe 1/3 the number of cigarettes that I was previously. The idea is to keep cutting that down until I'm not smoking at all anymore. I can't just quit cold turkey, I've tried and it is a recipe for disaster. I really want to quit smoking...two serious respiratory illnesses in six months is telling me something: smoking is bad for you! I knew that, but I also have asthma and asthmatics ESPECIALLY shouldn't smoke.

I need to be as kind to my lungs as I am trying to be to the rest of my body. The rest of my body has rewarded my efforts with improved energy, stamina, and vigor, plus a reliably healthy blood pressure for the first time in my adult life and the confidence and energy I need to get out there and really enjoy my life. I think my lungs are JEALOUS. That's why they went and got pneumonia. They're trying to tell me something. Finally, I am ready to listen. I am ready to love my lungs.

Pneumonia and quitting smoking update, plus weight loss.

My weight has plunged this week, probably due to my lack of appetite caused by Levaquin (a strong antibiotic).

I had a follow-up at the doctor today and had another chest x-ray. The pneumonia is mostly gone. Mostly. My peak flow was terrible and my pulse-ox was not great so I had a nebulizer treatment which improved both, and my doc told me to USE MY ADVAIR (I have an advair inhaler already) and to QUIT SMOKING (duh).

I confess that I have had 5-6 cigarettes today, but normally by now I'd have smoked a pack so I think I am doing pretty well. Progress for me often comes in baby steps. No more than 10 in any one day this week. Next week I want to shoot for 7-8 a day. Then 5-6 a day. And so on. I can't just STOP SMOKING. It's too hard. Cutting down dramatically, then gradually week on week, is probably more realistic for me. I just have to be disciplined about it.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Quitting smoking, Day 0

On the way home from work I stopped off at Walgreen's and bought a box of nicotine patches. I have been a moderate to heavy smoker for 15 years and I am SICK SICK SICK of it.

I know the smoking caused the pneumonia. What else could it be? What other 33 year-old gets PNEUMONIA????

I'm sick of having a smelly house, smelly car, smelly clothes, and smelly breath.

I'm sick of always having to clean up after my habit; ashtrays smell bad to me too.

I don't like being sick and I don't like that it takes me a month to fully recover from a simple cold.

So now I'm wearing a SUPER DUPER STRENGTH nicotine patch.

Time since my last cigarette: 0 days, 1 hour, 3 minutes.

We'll see how long I last. Normally by now I would have smoked at least 2 on the way home and probably another since coming home. I am going to try to apply the same determination and willpower to THIS that I have to weight loss. I figure I've lost 93.6 pounds, I know a little something about WILLPOWER.

Wish me luck. I need it. I've had 2 serious respiratory illnesses in the last 6 months (bronchitis in late 2008 and pneumonia last week) and I am sick of it. Sick of coughing, sick of wheezing, sick of STINKING. Sick of throwing away good money to do it. I spend at least $50 a week on cigarettes. That's retarded.

Getting over pneumonia....slowly

I'm getting over the pneumonia very slowly. The muscle aches have gone but I'm left with a horrible cough. I'm taking Mucinex to try to cough up all the gunk and get rid of it. I have obeyed my doctor's orders to stay away from the gym; I get short of breath pretty easily just doing normal day-to-day things, and my medication is making me a bit nauseated. Not a good combo for the gym.

A hollow victory

I've dropped over a pound since my last posting but it is due to the pneumonia I was diagnosed with yesterday. Banned from the gym for at least a week, possibly two. Sucks!

Another mini-goal met, another milestone achieved!

This morning I met my mini-goal #8 of losing 35% of my starting weight. I have 1 more mini-goal between myself and my goal weight. I never thought I'd see this! I'm so close.

Plus, I achieved another milestone...another "decade" of weight lost. I've now lost 90.2 pounds. That is just amazing. I need to get 90.2 pounds of fat and stand next to it.

Can't deny it anymore

It's been coming on for about a month but there is no point in denying it any longer...I am once again in the grip of a severe depression. It's been about 2-3 years since I felt like this but I spent almost all of my 20s feeling like this so I know what it feels like.

Dunno when I'll snap out of it. Not planning on seeking help anytime soon; help never helped. It goes away when it's ready to go away.

Getting close to goal...

Looking at my ticker, I am 17.6 lbs away from my goal weight of 150 lbs and about 12-13 lbs outside of the healthy BMI range.

The thing is, I don't think losing 17.6 lbs is going to get rid of the flab around my middle, hips, or thighs. When I get to 150 lbs, I'm sure I will still not be happy with my body. I keep wondering what comes after goal. What next? Was my goal realistic? Is 150 lbs still too much for someone who is 5'6" with a medium frame? Why is it that some people who are my height and weigh about 140 claim to be a size 4-6 while I will probably be an 8? How does that work?

What do I do? I don't know. I guess I should reach goal, have a physical (as I planned), and reassess.

I love my lift class

I'm a little sore this morning from my lift class yesterday evening. The soreness usually takes a couple of days to fully develop and another day or two to disappear, but it's been worth it.

In the last month or so I've been getting the "oh wow, you look so SKINNY" comments and I attribute a lot of the recent inch loss to that lift class. It's really great. The instructor doesn't push us; rather, she encourages us to do one more, one more! (She literally says "one more one more!") But she does not encourage us to hurt ourselves and does also say that we should go at our own pace and she does not expect us to keep up with her in terms of reps, but she does expect us to try.

In that class the sweat pours off me. Literally. The instructor says the point of the class is to work towards "failure," i.e. muscle failure. That means the last rep you do is the last rep you can do. It's kicking my butt, but in a good way!

How come I can't find any bras?

As I continue dropping weight, I continue to need new bras. I'm currently wearing a 36C and it's too large, but the only 34 bras I can find are of the tarty, lacy, underwire type. How come I can't find a plain bra with no underwire ANYWHERE? I say "anywhere" but I've only looked at Wal-Mart and Target; I go through bras quickly so I don't want to spend a lot of money on them.

Why why why? I know adult bras go down to 32 and further. What happened to 34?

I have seen the 160s!

This morning I got to see the 160s for the first time since college! Weighed in at 169.6! I don't consider myself an official member of "Club 160s" yet...I want to weigh in several days in a row in the 160s before I consider myself REALLY there.

I'm still sort of sad about my loose skin but I keep hoping it will eventually tighten up with good nutrition and plenty of exercise. Time will tell.

I have been dreading this.

I had a look at myself in the mirror from all angles (including from the rear) and have seen what I've been dreading: LOOSE SKIN. I'm 20 pounds away from goal and I'm seeing some sagging and a tiny bit of puckering in one spot. It will only get worse as I lose more weight.

Now I'm bummed. REALLY bummed. I was hoping this would not happen.

Body measurements, then and now

Months ago I was strongly urged to take periodic body measurements and I'm so glad I listened to that advice.

My first measurement was on 08/20/2008:

Chest: 41
Waist: 42
Hips: 49

My measurements this morning (03/15/2009) were:

Chest: 32.5
Waist: 29.5
Hips: 37.5

That's 8.5 inches lost off the chest, 11.5 inches lost off the waist, and 11.5 off the hips. Pretty cool huh?